“Therefore will the man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh”. Gen 2: 18
The next tripod on which the triangle of a true marriage stands – is that it is the husband and the wife that can become one; not boyfriend and girlfriend, not man friend and woman friend. And; for that oneness to happen, the man must leave.
To ‘leave’ means ‘to loosen and relinquish hold’. The marriage relationship is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the church. It means you have to leave father, mother, sister, brethren and cleave unto your wife. A lot of problems in marriage is because people don’t leave like this.
Luke 14:26 “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple”
Now, the scriptures above did not say you should hate your parents; what it’s saying is that when you compare the relationship that you have with your spouse with your parents, it will be like you hate them because you prefer your spouse above them. Until you are ready to leave like that with your wife you are not really married, until you are ready to leave like that with a woman don’t get married.
When the man leaves, he is to cleave. To that degree you have left is to that degree you will be able to cleave and be one the way God wants you to become.
‘Cleave’ in the Hebrew means ‘to pursue with great energy”. You pursue with energy in other to cling to, to stick to like glue. Marriage is a great pursuit of love . The day you get tired of pursuing each other, your marriage begins to die.
Jesus as our perfect example pursued us; and He is not going to stop pursuing us until He presents us to the Father blameless at the marriage supper of the lamb.
If you have stopped pursuing one- another , you have to get on the program of Revelation 2: 4-5. Though it is talking about the church, but you can take out of it to help you.
1. Remember – remember what you used to do, how it used to be. Don’t say you are too old for those things, you are not.
2. Return – return the focus; the attention on your spouse, not on yourself. You do not get anything by turning attention on yourself even in your relationship with God.
3. Repent – means to change – you choose to change, change what you are doing now- by an act of your will choose to think and act differently. If the feelings are gone, you can act your way into the feeling. Don’t go by feeling, love is not a feeling but a choice- to put someone else’s best interest over and above your own
4. Repeat– do what you did at first when you first fell in love. Start from there. Make a list of what you used to do with one another, what is it that attracted you to that person? Do it for each other, if it is that you appreciate something about the other person, take that thing and tell him/her that you appreciate it.
Image courtesy of [Salvatore Vuono] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net