“…thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”. Gen 3:16
The following are the traits of a domineering husband:
- He is in a master –slave relationship with the wife, he is always the one being served he doesn’t serve he is the master; when you enter his house he is the master and it shows.
- He comes across as the owner of the garden he owns everything and everyone in his house. In his house, you often hear things like: Woman, don’t touch my car, woman you want to spoil the television that I bought with my money?
- He deals very strictly and harshly with everybody in the home including his wife, no one is spared from his harshness.
- He uses the same tone of voice with children as with the wife, there is no one in his house that that looks him in the eye to talk to him, including his wife, everybody looks down.
- He does not understand the wife as an equal heir of the grace of God. Some husbands do not believe that their wives could hear God to tell them things.
- He does not believe that there are areas he has to defer to the wife in making decisions.
- He has all the say where his money goes and what it is to be used for.
- When he wants sex, he demands for it and it has to be given, there is nothing like romancing the wife to the point that she desires it, there is nothing like doing anything that will make the wife willing and wanting him, a times, he says: Woman! Come to the bedroom.
- The wife has no freedom to express herself, every time she does she‘s shouted down.
- What the bible described as “weaker vessel” is interpreted as “inferior” in his dictionary. The wife is seen as a weaker vessel to be dominated instead of as one to be treasured and cared for.
- His people have authority in his home over his wife. In-laws can come and dictate to the wife in her home.
- He would be physically abusive to his wife. That’s why some men cannot work with a woman as boss; he would treat the boss with disdain because that’s how he sees his wife at home.
These traits are to be looked at and necessary corrections made. Wife, the covering of your head is your submission to your husband. If there is no submission in the home, you don’t have power to make things work for you as a wife, you struggle with the things.1 Cor.11:2, 9&10
Husband, it is true to say “you came out of me, by your coming out of me so I have authority over you, am first (but the bible pointed out ‘Don’t by the way , read too much into the differences here between men and women . Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority……and since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let’s quit going through these ‘who’s first’ routines”1 Cor.11:9-12(MSG) . What God wants to be aimed for in marriage is mutuality.